(To be read with attitude colonial)

When leaving Heathrow it was foggy. Not enough to delay the flight but enough to remind Sensible of an old attitude. This. now developing as the new one, being illustrated by the headliner “Europe isolated from UK”.

He was leaving for Beijing. (Peking for the pre-Raphaelites), where he was to meet his friend, Lo. They had met in University and maintained their friendship ever since.

Lo had similar feelings of pride for kith, kin and country as Smith and found Smith’s jocular and adversarial style of conversation intriguing. Their ensuing repartee gave Lo a chance to develop one of his own; outshining Smith’s and thus scoring many a point against his friend in their battle of one-upmanship.

Lo, his friendship with Smith having given him a good grounding, was succeeding as a diplomat and had been appointed ambassador to Iran. He was to call in to his counterparts in Japan and then the U.S on the way to his new posting.
On exiting the arrivals lounge Smith saw the welcoming placard, “SMITH ESQ”.

It might be thought by casual observer that Chinese politness was at its usual best. Smith however knew quite well that, never losing a chance to gain a brownie point, Lo had been unable to resist referring to his friend’s status as failed M P candidate.

Smith, having finally convinced the driver that he, rather than Mr ESQ, was the expected pick up, was driven to Lo’s hotel vowing to get honours even.

When referring to the hotel as Lo’s it should not be thought that Lo owned same. It could easily be assumed so since his government had reserved the whole first floor. The left hand side being for Lo and guests.

The “unrooming” of some British service engineers in the process had ensured protestations of the distinctly undiplomatic kind.

Forceful and explicit though these were, the “Brits” had been housed in the floor above Lo’s , rather than prison or expulsion, entirely due to his friends enduring knowledge of the vernacular and considerable influence with the authorities.
Thinking, that his domestic government would have had a more even handed approach in the first place, and distracted by the noise of raucous celebration above, he had wandered down the hall, passing five doors, before realising he had just passed the door of Lo’s room bearing sign “Ambassador Lo”.

The door was opened by a man in the usual dark suit with Lo in deep conversation on the phone at the end of the short hall.

Smith was a little distracted by the ornate decoration of door and room and was dreaming up a telling comment on this ostentation when he thought he heard Lo say that America had gone west. Hoping to regain some points he intimated that, whilst agreeing that the US had suffered some sort of economic downturn, cowboys being limited to the English building and motor repair trades, such comments were not suited to a genuine diplomatic ambassador.Lo in answer explained that Smith had misheard. He was referring to “going to the West”, namely America, Europe, etc and claimed one more point to his tally due to Smith’s “undiplomatic” error.

Smith, ignoring this rather thin explanation and hoping to still regain some brownie points, resorted to humour to recover the situation, remarking that if his friend were going to the west to reach the U.S that would make Europe and the UK the Far East. Whilst England might compromise to gain position he couldn’t see the French doing it. Far more accurate, he said, that Lo, insisting his country *be in central position”, should make the US the Far East. Further, (Smith then got in his punch line), he felt, that in either designated direction, his friend, as ambassador to the Middle East, would, very quickly, be out of his depth.

Lo was ordering room service at the time so Smith was unable to be certain his friends simulated laughter was due to his humour immediately, but, as their conversation over the resultant wine and dinner progressed, it was obvious it had.
Lo riposted he would resolve either situation by taking several deep breathes before entering.

Always difficult to get past Lo’s inscrutability sighed.

SmithClues for the ultimate crossword are:-

What is Lo’s room number?